The simple answer is because we are human. But it is more than that, we are two humans who live under the same roof and have expectations and needs that are not always met. Why? Because it is impossible to meet your partner's every need and fulfill all of their desires. We are imperfect creatures, and we must show each other grace through the struggles.
The last argument we had was over grocery shopping, but it was so much more than that. See what happened was my husband volunteered to go to the store, I gave him a list and he went while I was still working. Now, I know your wondering how a fight could happen after he offered to do a chore. Well here is how the rest of the evening went. I get home around the same time that he does and literally nothing from the list I gave him was in the bags from the store. Not a damn thing. However there was pre-seasoned chicken [which I don't eat], three bags of frozen green beans [which I don't eat], bow tie pasta noodles [why?!], and other odds and ends that my husband wanted. See the issue here? So while complaining about the issue at hand, he of course defended him which in turn enraged me, what was a simple chore had spiraled into an all out yelling match.
See, it wasn't about the groceries at all really, it was about the fact that I felt unheard. All the things I requested from the store were things to make dinner that night, so when my husband came home with out them, there was nothing to cook except green beans and noodles.
I love my husband with my whole heart and I would do anything in this world for him. But dammit that boy has a hard time thinking of others sometimes. I do not mean that he is selfish and hateful, but he is flustered very easily and tends to forget that there is someone else who's needs are important. Of course I have my faults as well and I talk about them a lot, but I'm talking about my husband's tonight.
I do not ask him to read my mind, I am very black-and-white about my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I am just over looked for other things. I know that I have an amazing man that I am lucky to call my husband. There are much worse things that could be happening. He doesn't drink, he doesn't cuss at me, he doesn't beat me, cheat on me, or yell that often. He is a good man, but just because he dosen't do any of the really bad things, it isn't an excuse for the little things that he misses.
I feel like we try to put our best selves on social media (I've talked about this in an earlier post), and I think that is best for places like Instagram (hl.murphy) and Facebook. But on here I try to be ugly honest with you guys about what my life looks like and what I think about it. My marriage is not even close to perfect, there are times where I ask myself "what the hell were you thinking" and I know my husband does to. We got married when I was twenty years old, I couldn't even drink legally yet! Now I am twenty-four and we have grown so much together and we still have a long way to go.
Marriage isn't always two people who are on the same team, sometimes he is USC and I am Clemson. We are not always on the same page and we do not always like each other. But we made a vow to make this work and that is what we are doing. Our biggest fear is to be a statistic. We have done very well for ourselves for as young as we are that we have surpassed all expectations. I am not saying that the fear of what people think is a reason to stay married, but I would be lying if I said it wasn't something we talk about [what people think].
At the end of the day, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, weather you are married, living together, divorced and have children, or starting a new relationship here are somethings to remember: 1. No one person has all of the answers 2. Do not expect someone to read your mind 3. What they do not know is a problem, they cannot fix 4. It isn't a pissing match to see who is "right" 5. You are allowed to be mad at your S.O 6. Show. Each. Other. Grace!