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Just a MILLENNIAL trying to navigate ADULTHOOD 

Why it's okay to go out without your spouse

11/14/2018

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Yeah, I'm going there tonight. I feel that people have strong opinions about this, either way you slice the cake. Some are all for doing the guys/girls night or they are totally against it, and you are for sure going to Hell for it. I myself think its great! Unpopular opinion albeit may, I just think that if you spend all your time with our spouse, you can forget who you were before them. Before Stephen, I was working and going to school full time, I was casually dating here and there, and I had girl friends that I hung out with whenever I wanted. Now, literally the only thing that has changed is the dating part... obviously. Stephen before me would get off work on a Friday and go hunting and hang out with his friends every weekend. We had lives and friends before we had one another and that life we had molded us into the people we are now.

I think it's perfectly healthy to go out with your friends for a night of drinks (or whatever) and fun. No one says that just because you are going out without your significant other that you are going to cheat, or do something that would upset them. I'm not sure if it is generational or if it is just the norm, but I think it's really odd that girls who go out with their girlfriends get talked badly about. I mean really, I go out with a girlfriend for a few drinks at a bar, and the next week there is a rumor going around that I'm cheating on my husband with my ex boyfriend from like 6 years ago (true story). If a guy goes out alone, then he must be trying to hook up with some other girl, or they just broke up. Are we really that simple minded.

Some argue that it's a respect thing, and to that I say, we'll if I'm not doing anything to disrespect my husband or marriage, why do we have to be joined at the hip? I am an adult and sometimes I need my space. I love my husband, but just like when you spend too much time with your siblings, and you start to just get annoyed at them for chewing "too loud" (also true story), the same goes for your spouse. The sun does not set in their ass every waking moment of the day. Trust me, Stephen is a great guy, and I am so lucky that I get to spend the rest of my life with him, but that doesn't mean I want to spend every day with him.

When you go out and get a little buzz, one of two things happen, you drunk text the guy you are sleeping with, or if you just broke up with someone you text them. Well guess who I text! You got it! The guy I'm sleeping with! I'll tell you what the best thing ever is, going out for a girls night, sexy texting your husband after the third glass of wine, finally getting home, having him take you to McDonald's, and curling up in bed knowing damn well he is going to play nurse the next day because you will be hung over as shit. It rocks. I don't want to go home with anyone else but my husband, because lets be honest, I get annoyed with drunk me, and I finally found a man who puts up with that bitch, I'm keeping that crazy man!

Bottom line guys, is spending your life with someone is the most amazing thing you can do. Finding someone who you want to commit your entire self to is beautiful. But at the end of the day, you cannot argue that having a sense of independence is crucial to making a relationship work. You don't want to always be waiting around for someone to get off work so you can have some interaction, make your own friends, and live a life that is full.
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