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Just a MILLENNIAL trying to navigate ADULTHOOD 

why i'm not close with any of my bridesmaids

11/12/2018

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So I am not close with any of my bridesmaids from when I got married back in 2015. Not a one, not even my M.O.H. I want to put this disclaimer out there first before I get into the story:

1. This is my side of the story.
2. This all took place almost 3 years ago- everyone involved is over it- I'm just telling a story
3. I got married at 20- we were all young.

So here's the story, I will start with my MOH; she and I had been friends since the 3rd grade, so about 12 years at the time that I got married. She and I had been off and on again over the last 2 years leading up to my engagement, we were literally making up from a fight when I told her I was getting married and asking her to be my MOH. *again my side of things* her boyfriend and I did not like each other whatsoever! My opinion is that when she was mad at him, she would tell me, when she was mad at me, she would tell him, thus making us only see the bad side of each other... and he was a douche to me every chance he got. He even told my photographer AT MY WEDDING, "yeah, I don't really like Harley", like who the hell does that? I knew he didn't like me, but don't talk shit at my wedding guy. She and I just stopped talking after the wedding. I think a combination of her boyfriend and the fact that I was probably annoying by always asking her if she had done the few things I asked her to do prior to the wedding. She she is an amazing artist and I asked her to paint a few things (windows with the menu, mine & Stephen's name, and important dates) and when we were less than a month out and they still weren't done, I may have gotten a little snippy with her. But can you blame me?!

Second, now this happened between 2 of the girls. I was getting SUPER close with one girl (she was one of Stephen's friends' girlfriend) & there was some private information I knew about her and it was actually what she and I bonded over. Myself, Stephen, her boyfriend, and her were a little foursome for about a year. Well another bridesmaid was at my house and we were just having a normal conversation and I let a small tid-bit of the private info slip. TOTAL ACCIDENT!! And she asked about it, and I in the most PC way possible explained what I was talking about. But in no way did I say anything mean, or hateful. But that bridesmaid who was also beginning to get close to the other took what I said and ran with it. This wasn't the first time that I had heard about this girl doing something like that, but the girl I was starting to get close to was upset nonetheless and pretty much called me everything but a human being and told me to kick rocks (not in those words).

So now we are 3 down. One to go. So this last girl actually stuck around for another year and a half. I actually ended the friendship with her. See she and I were friends in high school, we all have that friend that is cool because they are able to do things that our parents wouldn't let us. She was my "party friend" not that she was a bad person. But I was very mild in comparison to her, we balanced each other out. Well she was getting married and had asked me to be in her wedding (over a text) and I was working full time and in school Saturday and Sunday, I had explained that to her and that I wouldn't be available for a lot of pre-wedding things until I was out of class. Well she had asked me to come to a few things and I was unable to attend, and eventually she got upset (naturally) and blew up at me. *Disclaimer- my husband didn't really like me spending time with her because there was always drama and drinking involved & something bad always happened* Like one night she got us shot at... yeah you read that right. Different story for a different night. But anyway, I wasn't as invested in the "friendship" anymore and told her that I was sorry that I was not able to attend things, I re-explained the whole school thing and told her that maybe I shouldn't be in the wedding. She "told me off" and I told her I was sorry she felt that way and that maybe we shouldn't be friends. We haven't spoken since.

So that's it. If I'm being honest, which I make myself be here; I really only miss one of these girls, and that is the third I mentioned. We still see each other, were nice, it is what it is. What happened was almost 3 years ago at this point and I speak for the both of us when I say it's in the past. Will we be friends again one day? Maybe, I don't know. I wouln't turn her away if she showed up and needed something, but a lot was said and done. Stephen is still friends with her fiance and that's nice. Life is long, and a lot happens who am I to try to tell the future.

People are in our lives for a reason, it may be because we need them or they need us, either way they are there as long as necessary. Some people are life long friends, and some are temporary, but when a friendship ends it's important to remember that it happened because it needed to.
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