Sometimes it's the only option you have. Sometimes walking away is the healthiest thing you can do. Sometimes saying "I've had enough" is the most generous thing you can do for yourself and those involved. Of course, whoever is on the receiving end of this conversation may tell you that your "giving up", but the question I have is what are you giving up by subjecting yourself to whatever it is longer?
I know I've been in situations where if I stuck around that would mean my mental health would suffer. I don't just mean romantic relationships, but it may be a job, a friendship, or even a phone plan. We shouldn't damn someone who has had enough. You will always have those people that when the going gets tough they get going, but for the most part not everyone is out to end relationships and close all those around them out. Most people want and need that human interaction, but we have to be mindful of what we are willing to stick around for and work through. We have to make tough calls on situations that may be worth walking away from. Not every relationship is salvageable. Hell, look at the guy who went from Sprint "Can you hear me now? Good", to the Verizon Red Check Mark. Not all relationships are made to stand the test of time. And it is your responsibility to keep yourself in mind.
Walking away from a toxic situation, environment, or person doesn't mean that you are "giving up" or that you are "childish" or "overreacting". It simply means that the pros no longer out-weigh the cons. The definition of insanity is literally doing the same thing over & over but expecting a different outcome. If we continue to subject ourselves to the same toxicity over & over, we will have the same outcome time and time again. Listen to what your inner monologue is telling you- you'll know when it't time to take a step back... even if you don't realize it.
Walking away doesn't always mean forever either. If you have been around for a while, you know I am a firm believer in seasons. Some people are only around for one or two, and some last through years of seasons with you. But there are a few who may come and go as seasons and you change. You will need certain people in your life for whatever growth stage you are at, and others aren't as prominent- but they may be on the next go around.
Remain humble however if you are the one who is being walked away from. You may not be a "bad person", but you may not be what someone else needs.
All I am saying, is know your limits and respect them. You don't have to stay in a friendship that is no longer bringing you joy or may have turned one sided. You are allowed to end a marriage if you are too different of people now. Sometimes, that happens; we are humans and we grow- we were never meant to stay the same. You are allowed to go and change & so is everyone you come into contact with.
You made me understand that just because someone doesn't want you, that doesn't mean you are worthless. My worth comes from me & what I decide. I've done so much in life so far and I'm not close to being done, you missed out & that's okay. I want you to know that I am okay, because someone else stepped in and filled those shoes and then some. I call someone else "My Dad" now, I won't live with regret, hell you might not either.
See, my dad walked out of my life when I was 20... he never looked back. It's a story so many people have; one that a parent decided they didn't want to be one any more & left you hanging. Life can be shit sometimes and unfair, but it's the unfair things that make you grow & learn more about yourself. Of course no one deserves what happens from time to time, but at the end of the day- you mean something to someone, and everything to others. You can't base your self love on who loves you
My views on myself have changed since taking a job with a plastic surgeon. I love my job and it is honestly the most perfect job that I could ever have. It’s like I have finally found “my people”.
Before, I always imagined people who got plastic surgery as women with huge lips and breasts. Now, I see it so differently. There is such a taboo that comes along with plastics, yet my DM’s are filled with girls who have questions. So, here’s what working for a plastic surgeon has done for me.
First, it changed the way I look at myself. I thought I would be so much more self-conscious about my looks, but it’s the complete opposite. Not that I don’t still have things that I don’t like, but I now know that there’s a name for the things I have issues with. For example, I have hooded eyes, I hate them… I could get an upper blepharoplasty which is a quick procedure to fix that. And knowing that makes me feel so much better about it. Obviously its common if there is a whole procedure for it, and millions of other people have this issue to, so I’m definitely not odd.
I’ve learned that not liking things about my looks is completely normal, and it’s okay. It perfectly acceptable to be a little vain. I feel like we try to act like we just “don’t care”, especially as women we hide the self-consciousness because we don’t want people to look at us differently.
We post on Facebook for a recommendation for lip filler because we would like to enhance what we already have, and we are flooded with comments about how we need to think about what our children may think because our girls are impressionable. Or that we “don’t need that stuff”. That one is literally my favorite, I hear it once a week. And I’m sure that the people saying this mean well, but it comes off as condescending. People always assume if you get Botox/ Filler, lipo, hell a facelift that you will automatically look over done. So, let me say it louder for the people in the back… THAT. IS. NOT. ACCURATE. Say it with me,
IT’S. NOT. MY. DECISION. TO. MAKE.
Stop degrading people who want to change something about themselves, if it makes them feel good, what’s the harm?
Working for a plastic surgeon has done so much more for my self-confidence than any girl power book could have. It’s crazy, but I will be forever grateful for this part of my journey in life.
If you’d like story times about my job, information on plastics, or want to hear more about this topic leave a comment below and let me know what you want to hear about!
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