my dad didn't walk me down the isle

My biological dad didn't come to my wedding. It's kind of a long story, but I'll see if I can condense it down to the the main point and not beat around the bush too much. 
So I got married September 26th, 2015. Best. Day. Ever. Ten out of ten, totally recommend! 
I walked myself down the isle- because I can do bad all by myself. 
My parents separated maybe right at or right under a year before I got married.  Between that and the time I got married my mom had started seeing my now stepdad. I didn't have the best relationship with my bio-dad at that time either. It wasn't healthy for me to communicate or be around him at that point. He wasn't in a good place. Still isn't. But as nervous as it made me feel, I did what I was supposed to do and sent him a Save The Date and a Formal Invitation. The Formal Invite came probably 3ish months before the actual wedding date; long enough to get a response. I waited and waited, but nothing. So, about a month out I texted him (yes, I could have called, but like I said- not in a good place). I told him I needed to know within a week if he was going to show up because I needed to tell the caterers how many guests we would have (true fact). He didn't respond to my text. So, I called- no answer. Another week goes by and I texted him again saying that I was taking his lack of response as a "no" that he wouldn't be attending the wedding. He of course responded to that as it had gotten his attention. But it was too late at that point. I wasn't going to play games & feed into his bullshit. *side note- this behavior was typical of him* His reason was simply because my mom's boyfriend was going to be there. He had told my mom, my grandparents, and had mentioned it to my younger sister.

So, he didn't show. And you wanna know something? My wedding was still amazing! The man who my mom would marry a year later not only showed up, but helped set up, made sure I had the extra AF Chocolate (yes I said chocolate) Photo booth that I just had to have. And made sure to dance with me. That is a real dad. Someone who shows up.

Did I feel let down that he let his personal issues get in the way of showing up to the most important day of my life? Hell yes! But now, it doesn't bother me- honestly. It is what it is- those who love you and want the best for you will show up. Not just at your wedding, but in life. Those who have your best interest at heart- will show up. You won't even have to ask. 

As ladies, it is assumed by others that we "need" someone to walk us down the isle and give us away. But I own my shit, and I am my own person to "give away". You can be independent even on your wedding day. You do you, and to hell with the rest that can't accept that.

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