I wonder if you think about me

​I wonder if you think about what kind of person I am. I wonder if you question if you made the right choice, I wonder if you regret walking away from me. I wonder if you are happier and just moved on with your life. I think about these things from time to time. Some times it feels like its been decades since we spoke last, others it feels like a few weeks. The last time we spoke to each other was three months before I got married...
It was the last time you acknowledged me.

I wonder if it was easy for you to pretend I didn't exist. I often question if you would be proud if you knew what all I had accomplished so far. I wonder if you would go to football games with me, or constantly question me about babies like mom does. I hope that the decision to cut me out was the best one for you, because as the years have slowly gone by, I've moved on as well. See, all of my favorite things about myself are you... weather I admit it most days or not. I have your sense of humor, your ability to make friends, and really, really good hair. It's been eight years since we lived under the same roof, four since we spoke last, and three since I've seen you. I wonder if you saw me in the street if you would wave or just keep walking. I wonder if you think about these things as well. I heard you met someone new & moved in together... does she know about me? If so, what have you told her? Am I the bad guy or does she know the truth and love you anyway? There are so many things I wonder, so many things that in time, I'll forget. 

​You made me understand that just because someone doesn't want you, that doesn't mean you are worthless. My worth comes from me & what I decide. I've done so much in life so far and I'm not close to being done, you missed out & that's okay. I want you to know that I am okay, because someone else stepped in and filled those shoes and then some. I call someone else "My Dad" now, I won't live with regret, hell you might not either.

...

See, my dad walked out of my life when I was 20... he never looked back. It's a story so many people have; one that a parent decided they didn't want to be one any more & left you hanging. Life can be shit sometimes and unfair, but it's the unfair things that make you grow & learn more about yourself. Of course no one deserves what happens from time to time, but at the end of the day- you mean something to someone, and everything to others. You can't base your self love on who loves you