Having a blended family in any capacity is uncharted territory for me as my parents were married for 21 years before getting a divorce. I had a pretty normal childhood until I was about 13 and that's when shit hit the fan... but that't another post for another day (connect with me if it is a story that you would like to read about).
So, I won't bore you with the details of their divorce, but it was what it was- it had been a long time coming.
Not too long after, my mom remarried. And she married this guy. Bobby. Now, it wasn't just Bobby that was joining our little ohana; he had two children as well- Jacob and Ashton. So it goes without saying that when were all together, it's a full house. It's an adjustment gaining a step-dad when you are in your 20's. Especially when you don't have any form of a relationship with your biological dad. Do you call him dad? Do you call him by his name? What?! I call Bobby, Bobby. Because that is his name. But if you know me personally, you know that when I speak about him, he. is. my. dad. period. And Ashton & Jacob are my brother and sister. No if's, and's, or but's about it. To say that this blending of families has been seamless would be a lie. There are issues, but there's issues in any family. I love what my little unit looks like (insert dick joke here).
It's not everyday that you have a man completely step into the father role for two girls that he did not make. But, that's exactly what he's done. He is a special person. **Prime example: I literally just got a call from Bobby at 8PM tonight telling me about how he put a dog kibble in my mom's Bugals that she was seeking like a damn squirrel and SHE ATE IT!! He felt bad because she didn't know about it & felt the need to call and tell me because he knew I would love every bit of that**
I wish I could be closer to my new siblings though. It's rough being the oldest of now 4 and living two hours away. I some times am unsure of what my role is in their lives, I want to be someone that they feel they can talk to and come to if they needed something, but if I am being honest, which is my goal here- I know I am not that person to them. At least not yet, and that is okay.
I have learned that you can only control one thing, and that is how you react to your situation. I know that in order to be close with them, I will have to wait. I see my bio-sister; Savanna and Ashton getting along and getting closer and it makes my heart happy. Because Savanna and I grew up almost 9 years apart, so it is hard for us to relate to each other.
Life is messy and unpredictable- but your family- whatever it may look like is the only one you get. I chose to embrace the new and love what it had to offer.