happy 25th birthday to me

When things do not go your way, remember that every challenge — every adversity — contains within it the seeds of opportunity and growth. - Roy T. Bennett

Each year we are on this earth, we are faced with hardships, accomplishments, failures, and celebrations. Every year we have new opportunities to either grow or get left behind. This year was a lot of big changes and risks being taken for me and some days I definitely do not- I repeat- DO. NOT. have it together, and others... I let my self believe that I do. *shrugs * So here we are ladies and germs, another year older- and another year... wiser?

Here are twenty five things that I have realized/learned this year:

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1. I am not nearly as cool as I think I am, and that's okay. Or at least I am learning that I need to be okay with that. I can be famous in my own mind all day long, but I need to understand that I won't be everyone's 21 Jump Street.

2. No matter how hard I try, I will never like Whiskey. Just why? I literally want my alcohol to taste like, well nothing- I don't want to know I am killing my liver while I do it.

3. Being a good student doesn't always mean good grades. Being a "good student" is showing up. I don't mean just "to" class, but actively showing up when it comes to putting in the work. I don't always make A's, hell sometimes I balls out f.a.i.l. But that's alright.

4. Being a good student means working my ass off to make good grades. Yeah, I know we got a double point, but hear me out. I can accept a shitty grade if I know that I did all that I could. Which means staying up later than I should because I 'm just not getting it. Passing on going out because you don't want to feel like hammered shit the next day and guess what little lady, you have a quiz due. I can accept a bad grade when there was nothing left that I could have changed. There will always be more that I could have done, so I do not accept bad grades.

5. Having kids isn't a race and some are more prepared than me to take that step- it's cool. Just means I have more time to work on myself before a tiny human.

6. My house is my safe place and I need to treat it like that. I have to put time into caring for it, cleaning it, and maintaining it. Houses don't raise themselves you know?

7. Instagram. Is. Not. Real. - no explanation- you know what I'm talking about.

8. Sometimes I don't have time to go to the gym. Self-love isn't always pushing myself to do more, sometimes it's letting my body rest. Skipping the gym for a few days, weeks, or even a semester doesn't mean I will automatically get huge, I just have to watch what else I put in my body. I gotta do what I gotta do, and sometimes its forgive myself for loving my self.

9. These are the years I am allowed to be selfish. Period.

10. I don't have to drink to enjoy the people around me, but I can't judge those who decide to drink- because girl, you have been that person; the only one going all out while everyone else is staying fairly low key. Whatever the situation is, you. cannot. judge.

11. Not everyone is going to tell you how awesome you are, in the real world there are no A/B Honor Roll Pizza Parties. Go to work, do your job, and maybe someone might tell you you aren't half bad. But you cannot expect it.

12. On that note- you cannot be disappointed in people who don't meet the expectations you set for them. No one can please you in every aspect and you are not allowed to place super high expectations on people then be upset when they "fall short"

13. I like having my picture taken- so what?

14. I have a hard time with speaking nicely to myself & it's something I have to desperately work on.

15. I learned that the hardest part about being married so far is learning to live separate lives. Learning to not do everything together and not feel like you are being left out.

16. This is not my forever gig.

17. I don't always have to give my opinion. And in situations where it's best to keep my mouth shut, all I have to say is, "You know, I don't really have an opinion one way or the other.". Supa easy

18. Holding myself to high standards doesn't mean I have to beat myself up for not meeting them- or accept others' commentary for having differing standards than they do.

19. My family may be the people I am related to for the rest of my life but they are not the people I am forced to spend the rest of my life with.

20. I don't have to get an attitude every single time I disagree with someone... brat.

21. Almost there- if you've made it this far- you are pretty alright in my book. Moscow Mules are literally the best drink ever... never had one? Next time you go out- get it. Let me know what you think- you won't regret it, swear.

22. No one cares how many likes I have on  virtually any post.

23. I don't have 2 hours in the morning to get ready nor am I in or a graduate from Cosmetology school, so my make up is not and will never be as good as those girls who are on my socials who literally went to school to do just that. No I don't mean "just" that.

24. Not everyone who gives me a complement wants to be my friend. Sometimes people are just being nice.  

25. Life is messy, ugly, loud, and beautiful. Sometimes it's smooth sailing and sometimes the odds are stacked against me. My life is different from yours, and that is what makes it mine. I learned this year that I have an amazing life that I am so very lucky to have. Sometimes I loose sight of what I have in front of me because I see what someone else has. I am human and may always fall victim to my own desires, but it's the raining myself back in that is the key to it all in the end. It's reminding myself to stay grounded and know that the life I have is just getting warmed up.

Happy Holidays everyone

---> Harley