Today we have so much self-deprecation in our everyday lives. Too many jokes are made about ourselves. I find myself making jokes all the time about myself. It's always good to have modesty and to be humble. Life is short and we shouldn't take things too seriously, including ourselves.
It's a beautiful trait to have to be able to take things in stride and not get down on yourself or sweat the small stuff, but sometimes we take it to extreme. I watch YouTube videos, and some of the most popular ones are when the YouTuber is making jokes about themselves, like, "I'm a piece of shit person" and other things along those lines-- you know what I'm talking about.
I'm sure you may be thinking, "They are just kidding around, don't take it so seriously", but it got me thinking, we don't take it seriously enough. You say something enough times and you begin to think it's true. I catch myself calling myself chunky, or reminding people I'm 23 as if it is a bad thing- when it's so not!
So I wanted to make a list of 3 questions for me to ask myself:
1. What are 5 things I love about myself?
2. What have I learned from my biggest mistake?
3. What compliment do most people give to me? Do I agree? Why?
I know the last one is really three, but it's therapeutic to try to look at yourself in the best light. I personally try so hard to be "self-aware" , and I have found that 90% of the time I am pointing out my flaws and trying to correct them- not seeing the qualities I bring to the table. Or I look at by "bad qualities" and don't ever look at the positive things that those qualities bring.
Example: I am very ridged in my schedule and don't take spur of the moment things wonderfully- some may see that as not having the ability to be flexible. I could say to those people that I am able to keep a schedule and no one would ever have to worry about me getting the things done that I need to that day. It's really a good quality to have in the work place. hah
I challenge you to ask yourself those questions- or whatever questions you can think of that make you have to be nice to yourself. It's okay to know your positive qualities and take a moment to admire yourself.
Those are my thoughts for today! Talk to you next time!
Yeah your not seeing doubles! DOUBLE POST TODAY BAM! Sorry, that was waayy too excited typing for a blog post. But my life is little... like me.
I saw a prompt on Pinterest-yes the one app all women can get sucked into for hours and plan their dream wedding & baby shower all before lunch time- and I thought I'd try that out as opposed to my usual rambling.
1. Full Name: Harley Lauren Murphy - fun fact growing up I consistently spelled my middle name "Loran"- probably the only thing I was consistent in.
2. Zodiac sign: Sagata.... however you spell it... the horse man
3. 3 Fears: The dark, being alone in the dark, and jellyfish.
4. 3 things I love: Stephen, Kitta, and Cheese Wiz... just kidding Stella- though I do love Cheese Wiz
5.My best friend: is non existent
6. Last song I listened to: Peach Scone by Hobo Johnson
7. 4 turn on's: uhh, the light switch turns on, and I have a few of those in my house.
8. turn off's: I can turn those lights off too
9. How many tattoos do I have: three
10. The reason I joined Youtube: to upload videos to here, but I may make a full switch- we shall see
11. How I feel right now: Lethargic
12. Something I really want: another glass of wine
13. My current relationship status: did you see my last video?
14. Meaning behind my URL: It's my everyday life and I am honest to a fault... so I swear to remain unfiltered *except on Instagram*
15. My relationship with my parents: still waiting on that paternity test.
16. My favorite holiday: Groundhog Day is nice
17. One thing I've lied about: the amount I spent at TJMaxx- but that's a regular thing, so is it really a lie now or an expectation?
18. An embarrassing moment: literally everyday when someone asks me the time.... and there is only an analog clock around
19.Something I am talented at: denial
20. My idea of a perfect date: pizza on the beach
21. My celeb crush(s): Steve Harvy, Steven Tyler, & Ruby Rose
22. Do I smoke or drink: No & Yes
23. Favorite book: Great Gatsby
1 question for each year I have been alive. There was actually 50 on the prompt but I didn't like all of the questions and this is my life and I'll do as I please dammit. It's like the Tootsie Pop Commercial... the world may never knowwwww.
bonus: my favorite thing is when im driving and look over at another car & unexpectedly see a dog.
After last night's blog I immediately knew what I wanted to write about tonight. I wanted to talk about Authenticity. I had a hard time growing up being my true self. I wanted to fit in; like everyone does. I stayed quiet most of the time and agreed with everyone else. It wasn't until I was in my late teens and out of high school that I started being me.
Being authentic is one of the most important things that you can do these days. Be your truest self, because it's tiring putting on a front. We spend so much time "living our best life" on Instagram, it makes you wonder whats real. Look some nights I forget to take my birth control and I dont feel like pouring a glass of water to take it so I grab the open bottle of wine out of the fridge and take it with that. We all have things that we don't blast all over the internet for everyone to see.
I'm not saying you should do that either. What I am saying is just be yourself. With that though doesn't mean that you get away with being a shit person because "that's just you". You don't get to be rude to someone and just say "oh, I'm just really honest", no you are mean. Be your most excellent self. I need to work on not cussing so much. It's doesn't portray myself in the best light. I want to always put my best foot forward.
Firs impressions, are important. Some say they are everything. You can't judge a book by its cover, but the cover does say a lot. First impressions leave a big impact, but they aren't forever either. What do you think the first impression is that you leave on most? Is it what you want it to be? We all want to be liked, that doesn't mean that we need to be door mats, but no one really WANTS to be disliked.
All I'm saying is be your best self, and be proud of what you are about. There is only one you, out of all the billions of people not one person has the same thumb print as you.... whats even crazier is that both of your thumbs have different prints. You are the only you that will ever be. So be the you-est you there is.
Tonight I want to talk about confidence. Today I was lucky enough to be in a class listening to a woman speak on etiquette and business & I heard a phrase that spoke to me. "Gravitas", which means, "Grace on Fire". That right there is confidence. To me, it isn't about being the best at something. It's knowing that I am able to not look at myself and make sure I am correct, but able to engage with everyone else. 2018 is the year of being self aware for me. Too many people my age spend more time deflecting than bettering themselves. I want to work on taking ownership of my flaws as well as gracefully accepting accomplishments. I want to learn to show more empathy & allow myself to be emotional.
In this world humans need one thing aside from food, water, and shelter, and that is to feel important. If I am able to detach myself from what I am doing and I am able to focus on the interaction taking place in front of me- then for that moment I am making someone else feel important. If I can make that happen then I stand a greater chance at forming a relationship with that person.
My goal is to obtain "Grace on Fire". I want to hold myself accountable to the highest standard that I don't have any other option but to succeed. It's not a resolution, because humans cannot make a drastic change like that- it's more of a teaching moment within myself. Being excellent isn't being 1,000% better at something, its being 1% better than I was yesterday.
I cannot give what I don't have. If I am not confident in what I am doing or saying, how am I able to instill confidence in my peers, my family, or my kids? Simply put; I can't. We are all good at something. We all have that one thing that gets us excited to do- why? because we are good at it. Be confident in what you are doing and strive to do better, because you what to claim to be the best, then you damn sure better be the best!
Walking into that room today, I didn't have any real plans of taking something away from it, but I did. I was there for a reason, because what she said clicked like nothing else in my life ever has. I needed to be in that space with her and hearing what she had to say.
I challenge us to all be more self aware
If I'm so smart, why aren't I a success yet?
If your childhood was anything like mine, you grew up with your parents telling you that you were going to be something one day. What that something was, I'm sure they had no idea, but something nonetheless. I always made good grades growing up, I wasn't the Straight A Type, but A's & B's were the norm. But why aren't I a success yet? I listened to what my teachers told me in school; go to college and you'll get a good job. Well, I went to college... not a university because I foot the bill on my own and couldn't afford it. But college is college... right? Wrong. See, my problem was that I was so hung up on going to some 4 year university and had this idea of what "success" was. Which was a 9-5 Monday through Friday gig; making more than 70k a year. I didn't care if I was happy there, as long as the job matched those criteria.
But success isn't measured in the amount of money you make. It's all subjective. You don't have to work at a hospital to be a "big deal", or work for an attorney either. Do you enjoy what you do? Great! Then that's a success. I think that a "success" isn't an end all be all, but more of a check list. Everyone's check list is different. Mine sums up to: am I happy?, was I excited to go to work?, did I make a positive impact for someone else?, did I contribute? I think when those things happen they are little success stories. All of them. Everyday is a new day to be a success.
I went to college and my career isn't anywhere close to what I went to school for. Is that a failure, I don't think so. It took me 2 years after college to figure out what I was good at, and what made me happy. There is nothing wrong with switching majors, or jumping careers. We live this life to work, why not enjoy what you do?
With all of that being said, I feel very strongly that if you are wanting to be a pillar in your particular field, or office. Learn to pay your fricken' dues!! Oh, my gosh! Too many young adults like myself I see wanting immediate gratification in their job. They want that private office, or that promotion, but aren't willing to be a runner and make copies for their first 6 months. We have a sense of entitlement about our generation that confuses me. Most of us were raised by blue collar workers, and yet we see ourselves as above that. My husband comes home everyday covered in grease and literally has a BLUE COLLAR, but guess what guys, he makes more than double what I make.
Everyone's success story is different, own yours. Be proud of what you do, even if right now you have a part time job while you have school or life going on- own it! If this isn't the end of the road for you, don't be ashamed to tell people, "Yeah I work at McDonald's while I'm finishing up my BA" you are a success in your own right!