A Little Secret I've Been Keeping...

 & I wavered back and forth for a few weeks about posting this blog. I didn't know how "appropriate" it would be, or who would have an opinion. But obviously it's up and I decided to make it public. I've worked for a plastic surgeon for two years now, I've talked about it a few times on here and it's not something I'm shy about. I've talked about getting Botox and my opinions on things like that too. But this is a different kind of post. 

See, I've always struggled with my body image and I've always hated my breasts- ever since high school. I've always been "larger" and as all of you women will understand, and sympathize with; after been larger for so many years, gravity eventually became my enemy. If you asked my husband, he would tell you that I was perfect... I really am so lucky to have him in my corner. But it wasn't about that. I didn't feel perfect, hell most of the time I didn't want him to touch them. It was always a sensitive subject for me, and when you are 25 and you have such strong feelings about your body- it eats away at you after a while. I couldn't wear the cute sundresses like my girlfriends, I couldn't wear sexy lingerie or bikinis... they just sagged. Yeah, I said it... sagged. I felt the exact opposite of beautiful all the time. 

So I made a decision back in November that I wanted to get a boob job. I wanted pretty boobies- whatever that meant. So the exact explanation of what I had done was a Bilateral Breast Augmentation with 205 cc Low Profile Implants and a Bilateral Mastopexy. Essentially I had breast implants placed and a breast lift. I had my procedure late Thursday, January 30th. I stayed home that Friday and the following Monday from work and went back Tuesday. I am still healing and I've started the scar care. 

Guess what? I love them! They are the most beautiful things I have ever seen. It has given me so much self- confidence! I love my body again, everyday since the surgery I have shown my husband the healing progress I've made and it's an amazing feeling to not be ashamed of my body. I don't want to send the message that you have to surgically fix things that you don't like about your body, but what I am saying is that if you decide to that is okay. I am speaking my truth. This is probably the most personal thing I have ever posted about, and I wouldn't feel as empowered to do so if it wasn't for that decision. I am learning to fall back in love with me. 

Point being is that sometimes you are allowed to be vain & do things based on those feelings. As women we struggle with our appearance more than we let on. You never know someone's internal struggle and you should never compare yourself to someone else... we are all made differently and we are all handed a different deck of cards. We need to do a better job of lifting each other up. I hope that my message isn't lost in the shock value of this post. It isn't always easy to love yourself & we are all human- it is important to remember to show yourself grace, as well as do what you need to in this life to be content with you. I don't care if that means going to the gym more, going back to school, getting a boob job-- what ever it is that helps you get through this life happy and healthy; do it. 

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